The Jerk

This guy I know has this saying, “An unguarded strength is a double weakness.”  I’ve heard him say it several times, but recently this concept is beginning to hit home with me.  I usually get into trouble with detail orientation and analysis.  If I’m not careful these strengths can turn into a huge weakness.

I work with numbers, systems, and communication.  I essentially manage a hub of information, and because of this I end up critiquing and looking for problems all day long.  My work needs to be mostly error free and the information I pass on needs to be correct.  The problem occurs when I forget about harnessing these strengths for good, and they start to become faults.

Constantly when my wife and I go somewhere, especially restaurants, I’m always critiquing the service.  Before we even walk in the door I’m evaluating.  I have a friend who’s much the same way, and we’ve actually left restaurants before – yes, walked out and yes, restaurants plural – because we weren’t happy with the initial service.  I’ve given my “expert” opinion many more times than I was asked for it, burned a few bridges, and would’ve burned even more had my wife not saved me from doing something stupid.

I could tell story after story of my dissatisfaction with all kinds of things.  However, that really would not get us anywhere.  I think I’ve realized I’m critical, because it’s much easier to point out all of the problems than it is to be part of the solution.  It’s really simple to point out a lot of problems in organizations, but it takes a lot more time, effort, and energy to dig in and try to fix them.  Then, what if you buy-in and start to become part of the solution – what if things don’t work out?  What if you can’t fix the problem?  What if you try everything you know how, exhaust all your resources, and it still fails?

I’ve found the best way for me to guard against these weaknesses is to jump in anyway.  Get on board.  Usually in a few weeks or a month I forget about how worked up I was about it taking 4.7 seconds too long to bring my water to the table, poor song choice at an event, or somebody not calling me back for a few days.

How do you fight being The Jerk?

Be a Servant

Even though there are signs that certain segments of society are becoming less self-absorbed, for the most part we’re still a “me-centered” culture.  I’m all for whatever makes me happy, makes me look good, serves my interests, and covers my tail.  So I had the crazy idea around a week ago about the transformational power of servant leadership in our culture, because it looks so different than the “norm”.  After I had this idea, I read something interesting in Scripture. 

1 Kings 12:7-8  - The king, Rehoboam, is presented with the opportunity to lighten the load of the people, because his father, Solomon, had put a “heavy yoke” on them.  In the end, he doesn’t accept their request, and things go poorly for him because of it.  However, listen to the advice that he passes over from some of the elders he consulted on the matter: 

They said, “If you will be a servant to this people, be considerate of their needs and respond with compassion, work things out with them, they’ll end up doing anything for you.”

This also reminds me of Truett Cathy’s philosophy, “‘If you treat other people the way you want to be treated, they’ll get what they want, and you’ll get what you want.

Next time you get the opportunity, serve those you have the privilege of leading.

Road Map

Tony Morgan had a great post on his blog about a month ago entitled “Hierarchies Versus Paths.”  Organizations and leaders within them often have hierarchies created when people interact with them.  Customers, guests, visitors, etc. often get forced into the system and/or are bombarded with information about “how things work around here.”  Often times though, that’s not what the guest is after, they usually have a simple questions about how to get “from point A to point B.”  Check out the full post on Tony’s blog here – it’s definitely worth the time, and he’s a better communicator than I am.

So, where are you over-complicating an entry point or process in your organization?

Investing

I’ve been thinking a lot about money lately.  I’m not really sure why.  The guys at work all say it’s because Jen and I are both working and we have a double income with no kids.  I’m pretty sure it’s because I want to be a good steward of it.  I want to make wise choices now, that will pay off down the road.  I want us to have what we need, but one day hope to give a lot of it away.  Here’s another perspective on investing wisely that happened to me a a few weeks ago…

We went to a party last night thrown by one of the doctors my wife works with.  He wanted to say thanks to all the residents for helping him out for the past year.  He’s also a Christian and goes to NewSpring.  So, what does he do?  Bring orange drink and cookies to work?  Say thanks by dropping off a tract in everyone’s mailbox?  Throw a nice party, but make everyone watch the Jesus video?   

Nope – He throws a party at his neighborhood clubhouse for all the pediatric residents and his peers who wanted to come, complete with BBQ.  Not just any BBQ either, he went First Class and had it catered by Sticky Fingers.  There was also homemade peach cobbler & ice cream for dessert.  Wow.

As we were leaving I was talking with my wife.  She says that this doctor has helped the residents out so much that they should be throwing him a party.  He’s using his influence to serve & give, and it shows in the number of people who showed up and all the positive things I’ve heard about him.

Makes me wonder how I’m using my resources and influence.  If I’m entrusted with even more one day will I use it to get the most mileage and favors from those around me, or will I serve, give, and invest in others?

What are you doing now with the resources you’ve been entrusted with?

Pre-Bless

This is about a month old.  But, still something I deal with a lot.  See the quote below from Mark Batterson.  Amazing thought about how we should interact with others.  Too many times I find myself withholding blessing until someone proves that they’re worthy.  Hopefully, I’ll pre-bless the next time I’m given the opportunity.

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